Cha-cha-changes…

Mini-Me got married Friday night in spite of what seemed like one problem after

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Mini-Me’s Wedding 6-9-17

another.  Nearly everything that could go wrong did, and yet we still managed to pull off a wonderful wedding for her somehow.

 

I even ended up getting ordained again so that I could officiate their wedding.  I had to let Chicklet perform the actual ceremony though because I could not stop crying.

They spent their honeymoon at Lake Keowee State Park.  A beautiful place and their campsite had a lovely view.

We spent some of our Sunday there after having the grandbaby all weekend so that Mini-Me and The Pain could have some alone-time.  When we got there, they told us they had rented the site for an extra night and offered it to us.

We weren’t able to stay overnight due to the fact that the air mattress they’d taken sprung a leak Friday night and wouldn’t stay inflated and we didn’t have 19059601_1882819108639446_5566190478237499836_ntime before dark Sunday to see if we could find the leak.  We stayed until late, a few hours after the kids all left, and it was soothing to both of us after all of the stress we’ve been under lately.

We sat in the pitch black dark by a dying fire with the sounds of the water lapping at the shore and talked about things we’ve been needing to say for a long time and contemplated how easy it is for two people who love each other more than their next breaths, to lose sight of each other in the stress and hustle and bustle of adulting.  We reconnected in a way that I’d become uncertain that we ever would again and it was amazing.  Rediscovering each other was almost as wonder as when we first found each other nearly 21 years ago.

The hard reality is, we’ve been in trouble for a while.  Somewhere along the way, we lost19059081_1881714075416616_866955883426286232_n each other and forgot exactly what it was that brought us together.  The “D” word has even been mentioned, although no one took any steps in that direction and I honestly didn’t want either of us to.  Neither did he, but we’d also both reached a point where it was starting to look kind of hopeless.  It seemed like the harder we tried to fix it, the worse things got.

A lot of things can be said in the dark that can’t be said in the light, I suppose, and I’ve had some of my most profound conversations in the dark, I just never thought we’d one day need the dark to be able to communicate with each other.  Adulting is hard, ya’ll.

Monday was kind of an easy and playful day.  We both knew that since we’d finally broken through the communication barrier, that there were other things we needed to talk over, but neither of us wanted to then.  Instead, we waited until Tuesday and spent the day talking while we did things around the house to recover from the wedding/weekend with a grandbaby/day at the lake.

I also spent a fair amount of time Tuesday working on organization and overhauling my budget, calendar, routines, etc.  With all of the stuff that’s been going on the last few months as we tried to start pulling everything together for Mini-Me’s wedding, everything got out of whack.  The bills, my ability to feel like I was getting any of my “regular” stuff done and even my ability to find time to eat and rest properly.

I’ve barely eaten or slept more than three hours at a time in what feels like months and it was really starting to take its toll on my mental and emotional state, which was taking its toll on every other part of my life.

I’m a creature of habit.  Routines are good for me and always have been.  Getting too far away from them causes total chaos in my life.  That’s one of the reasons the FlyLady system fit me so perfectly.

So, it’s been crazy.  Really crazy.  I’m going to try to find time to start writing again regularly.  I’ve had people tell me for years that I needed to write some of my memories and experiences down and I’ve been thinking about that very thing lately.  I’ve especially been thinking about writing down mine and Draco’s story the last few days as I’ve fought to get my life back under control.

At any rate, I’ll leave you with a pic of me and my girls from Friday, right before we all went out for the wedding…

 

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Left to right:  Chicklet, Lizzy, Me and Mini-Me

 

 

 

 

52-Week Blog Challenge ~ Week 1 My Best Friend

So, I decided to jump on this 52-week Blog Challenge to kick off the posting on my blog and give everyone a chance to get to know me a little better.

Week 1 is Meet My Best Friend.  That would be this lady, Timber Leaves.  Out of respect for her privacy, since she’s also a blogger and hasn’t posted a picture of herself on her blog, I won’t post a picture of her here on mine either, but I can still tell you a little bit about her and our relationship.

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“So, how’s life on your side of the world?”

That’s how many of our letters when we were teenagers ended.  Living in different states as teens was hard and the distance felt tangible to both of us.

We were pen-pals through our teen years and into our young-adult years, back before we both got internet.  Then, we became AOL pen-pals, lol.

She has been my best friend for so long, that she hardly even qualifies as a friend anymore and is more like a sister.  I’ve always loved the way she puts it…”sisters of the 112a85b21888c2b6537f5d77e296fee2heart”, and we are.

In spite of how long we’ve known each other, we could not be more different from each other in some fundamental ways.  Our lives have gone in completely different directions since childhood.

We both became teenagers and I went to live with my mom and dad (I was raised by another family member until I was nearly 13, but that’s another post for another time).  When I was 16, she moved to another state and a few years later, she got married and started a family.

I got married and started a family here.  That’s pretty much where the similarities end.

This lady has had a large piece of my heart since childhood.  She is one of my oldest remaining friends.

Her and her parents moved in down the street from me when I was about nine.  My cousin, Bradley, who was like a brother to me, and who I miss dearly, met her first, but when we did finally meet, it was like putting on a pair of old jeans.

The fit was perfect somehow.  I will always believe that we are a type of soulmates.  Not the romantic kind, but I believe that there are different kinds of soulmates in the world.  She is one of mine.

Our friendship has endured, in spite of how different we turned out.

Although very open-minded about my lifestyle choices, she is completely straight and Christian while I am mostly straight (I considered myself bi when I was younger but since the accident, it’s just me and the hubby) and Pagan.

She homeschooled her kids and when her two oldest were pretty much grown, she went to college and made a career for herself while Mini-Me went to public schools and I was mostly either a stay-at-home mom or worked in the food industry.

She has always been close with her biological family while I had very little bio-family and mostly made my own family from some of the awesome people who have been part of my life over the years, including her.

I can say that regardless of what our families were made up of, being very family-oriented is another thing that we do have in common.

We were supposed to always live down the street from each other like we did when we were kids.  Our kids were supposed to grow up together.  Our girls, who are approximately one year apart in age, kind of did, but it was a mostly pen-pal and online friendship.  Honestly, ours has been, too.

0729489afc795362fab62e78cf3b1001It was her that first introduced me to two of my favorite pastimes, blogging, and World of Warcraft.

This woman has such a huge piece of my heart that I feel like she’s with me everywhere I go, even though we live so far apart from each other.

Time and distance haven’t really changed much with us, though.

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Last summer the hubby and I visited her and her family.  We hadn’t seen each other in nearly 20 years when I walked into her house.

13615407_1728881887366503_6566130084186107801_nOn the way there, part of me started to worry that things would be so different.  I mean, we’re grown now with grown kids.

I was a grandma already and she was a soon-to-be grandma at the time.  Our lives had gone in completely different directions in the years in between.

I thought maybe it would be awkward.  Maybe we’d find that we didn’t have anything in common anymore and it would be weird, which I knew would hurt my heart in ways I couldn’t put into words.  Turns out, there was no need to worry.

It’s rare when you can find someone with whom, no matter the amount of time that has passed or the distance that separates you, nothing changes.

It was like we were kids again.  20 years melted away in a moment and I saw that gangly girl on a bicycle riding past my house, in a water bottle fight with my cousin.

We spent the whole time we were there giggling like school girls, sharing our love of
13600168_1728883187366373_3760669843816034079_ncreepy things by visiting a few landmark graveyards near her house, and whispering about our husbands like we once did about our boyfriends.

She lives near the ocean in the city where I was born (but, ironically enough, not where we met) and the trip was to double as a healing trip for me.

I’m a Pisces and nothing heals my heart and soul quite like the water does.  After the accident that nearly took my life and left me permanently disabled, I needed spiritual and emotional healing desperately.

I hadn’t told her of my plans to do a personal healing while I was there, but when I wandered off alone to the water, not only did she instinctively give me the solitude I needed, she snapped a picture of the moment.  Somehow she just knew.  She always knows.

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She has seen me through some of my darkest hours.  She knows the ugly side of me.  She’s seen me at some of my worst moments in life.  She knows my imperfections and my short-comings, and she loves me anyway.

And that’s what a best friend is, right?  Someone who just knows you.  Someone who knows, not just the good and the happy parts of you, but someone who knows where you hide all the dark parts behind your smile, and loves you anyway.  Sometimes they love you in spite of the dark parts…sometimes, they love because of them.

Either way, they love you, and that’s what counts.

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